Jyotsna Mohan Bhargava’s notes on parenting in these reckless times
Book Title: Stoned, Shamed, Depressed
Author: Jyotsna Mohan Bhargava
Priyanka Singh
‘All my friends have a phone, why can’t I have one?’ is an agonising plea, among several that would follow, which parents dread. Withholding it makes a parent instantly unfriendly, unreasonable, while capitulating to the demand will not be free of regret for handing the key to doors you’d wish they’d not walk through.
Parenting in these reckless times is as deeply frustrating as it is challenging. The value system lies turned on its head, imploded as it were. Restraint is a rusty relic. The easily bored ‘Insta’ generation is careening on thin ice, flirting with instant gratification to push boundaries that are disabling social skills and creating dysfunctional social beings.
At every turn is a dark temptation for a generation in a ‘frightening hurry to expose itself body and soul’.
With things madly spinning out of control, parents — themselves under the grip of all things media — are battling on multiple fronts: cyberspace, drugs on school campus, alcohol abuse, voyeurism, rave parties, circulation of nude photos, promiscuity, behavioural issues.
Sometimes victims, often times perpetrators, children, too, have more coming at them than they can deal with: self-esteem issues, peer pressure, burden of unreal expectations, competition, ‘sextortion’, cyberbullying, body-shaming, fitting in, even depression. They are sizing, and being constantly sized up for what they are, what they possess, how they look, in a world of near-perfect projections.
A future is a maybe, a contingent. All must happen ‘now’. Everything, every act is to impress the sea of audience out there — already half the battle lost. The warm comfort, the exquisite intimacy of smaller circles is long vapourised.
‘Smells like teen spirit’ was a chartbuster anthem for dispassionate Gen X kids. That was in the ’90s, when the world was still on the cusp of digital revolution. Apathy has since assumed eerie dimensions.
Schools in the national capital are on the radar of drug cartels. Among the users are mid-schoolers, some as young as 12, who use drugs as ‘experience enhancers’, and also to ‘make studies bearable’. It may well be the story of every city. Parents and schools can’t but be on maximum alert. The disturbing trend is at the door.
Intensively researched, ‘Ston-ed…’ is a handbook for parents and children alike, with both playing a lone hand. It serves as a source book for the fermenting times, when cyber is the anonymous world teens wish to inhabit; where it is tough to be a parent, tougher to be a teenager.
