‘Sach Kahun Toh’: Neena Gupta shares her life, as honestly as possible

Nonika Singh

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‘Sach Kahun Toh’ — when an actor decides to tell the truth and titles her book the same, you take her assertion and the book with a pinch of salt. For, how many actors truly have the gumption to take skeletons out of their cupboard and share unsavoury truths of their life?

But when the actor in question is the redoubtable Neena Gupta, bold and upfront, you can only get an honest sneak peek into her life and through the world of arclights she inhabits. On the surface, to you and me, Neena Gupta might seem a rebel who cocked a snook at societal dictates and dared to have a child out of wedlock. But as she makes you privy to her journey — right from her childhood to her National School of Drama days, from a struggling artiste to an actor of immense calibre who found her real groove at ripe 60, you meet a real woman. One of substance, yes, but, above all, a woman who is as humane as we all are, with her fair share of fears, insecurities, doubts, ambition, dreams and desires.

Now diffident, now confident, she emerges as a person and actor who has risen to great heights despite odds and insurmountable obstacles. Cinephiles might today acknowledge the tremendous talent of the ‘Badhaai Ho’ actor, but Gupta tells you with unconcealed candour and honesty, how it has not been a smooth ride. Rejections, humiliations, slights, slurs — both at the personal and professional level — define her engaging story, told sans artifice. Nowhere do you sense a desire to impress her readers to whom she often talks directly.

During the making of her directorial venture, the National Award-winning film ‘Bazaar Sitaram’, one of her favourite people, celebrated filmmaker Shyam Benegal, told her: “Every story has to have a clear beginning, middle and an end. Remember that and you will never fail.” This advice, it seems, she applied not only to the film about ‘Delhi’s treasure trove of culture and art’, but to her autobiography too. Except for the last four chapters wherein she goes back and forth while talking about significant others (excluding West Indies cricketer Vivian Richards, but very much including her husband, Vivek), she follows a linear style of narration.

Interestingly, while she takes many aspects of her life almost like a bull by the horns, she breezes through her affair with Richards, father of her daughter, the noted fashion designer Masaba Gupta. For her stance to remain tight-fisted, if not tight-lipped, about details of her relationship with the former cricketer, she uses the alibi of another relationship. A mother first and foremost, she apologises to readers for not divulging more. “I would appreciate it, my dear reader, if you could respect my silence on this matter because I honestly don’t want to rehash the entire situation and make myself and especially my daughter vulnerable to public speculation once again,” she says.

However, she shares her experience of motherhood with joy and pride that only a mother can know. She credits the presence of Masaba not only for much that is beautiful and joyous in her life, but life itself. Recounting a tragic incident when a fire engulfed the sets of television serial ‘The Sword of Tipu Sultan’ leading to loss of many lives, she shares how she had moved out from the epicentre of the accident to check out on her daughter in the green room. What if she hadn’t? She shudders at the thought and so do we at the possible consequences.

On the repercussions of being an actor, rather an actress, she does talk about the discomfiting realities, including being stereotyped. How making a mark with her first notable performance in ‘Saath Saath’, the image of ‘Lallu Ladki’ stuck and actually became a curse. Why despite making waves as the strong-willed Ketaki in TV serial ‘Khaandan’, she was only flooded with negative roles. On the infamous casting couch, she is once again frank and direct. Yes, it exists, she admits in no uncertain terms, but the choice to sit (sleep) on it, she insists, is purely yours. But does she name and shame men who made indecent proposals to her? No, she plays safe. In fact, each time she talks about people who have hurt her, she doesn’t identify them. Be it at a personal level or professional, you can only second guess their identities. Of course, there are tell-tale clues. More so, when part of her life where she had all but tied the knot with the son of a renowned musician unfolds. Who is this family whose son developed cold feet at the last minute? Well, she doesn’t identify (nor would we), but if you read the book, the answer lies in the line, “I was introduced to Raghav’s maternal grandfather, one of India’s foremost film-makers.”

Bitter-sweet memories dot her memoir and she interweaves the personal and professional, navigating the two worlds almost seamlessly. Minutiae jostle with issues that call for graver consideration. While telling a personal story, Gupta makes some incisive worldly observations about society, women, marriage and love. She strikes more than a chord, and more than once, as she shares her views on what we call ‘behenjis’ or when she writes, “When I think of love, I don’t think of grand gestures or boxes wrapped in bows, I think of little things in life.”

On filmdom, her thoughts are precise. “The industry is a business and nobody is your friend.” Primarily an actor of art house cinema, she shares her discomfort in the commercial setup. She has no hesitation in sharing what Subhash Ghai said before canning the iconic song ‘Choli ke peeche’. While taking us behind the scenes of many a film/TV serial of hers, we get to see the heart-warming personas behind eminent filmmakers such as Satyajit Ray, Girish Karnad, Shyam Benegal and Gulzar; actors like Vinod Khanna too come across as amiable beings.

And we most certainly meet Neena Gupta the actor and the woman who is not afraid to face both the ups and downs of her journey with vulnerabilities intact. To let the chinks in the armour show, isn’t that the most sterling hallmark of confidence? As the world is rediscovering the wonderful actor in her, readers will discover who Neena Gupta really is. Truth be told, she may have glossed over a few things, for which she even pens an apology in the epilogue, but her honesty speaks in a crystal clear voice.