Close encounters of thug kind

The ‘encounter’ in which four suspects, who allegedly raped and murdered a veterinary doctor in Hyderabad, were shot dead by policemen at the scene of the crime has created a nationwide sensation, with many condemning such vigilantism and not a few endorsing it. Just Jugglery went to chat with a policeman, who though not associated with this particular incident, is a noted ‘Encounter Specialist’.

Just Jugglery: You are well-known as an ‘Encounter Specialist’. What exactly does that mean?

Encounter Specialist: It means that when I encounter someone, that person stays encountered. Permanently.

JJ: Quite. But don’t such ‘encounters’, as you call them, short circuit due process?

ES: Not at all. I follow all due process. First of all there is the due process of loading my firearm with the cartridges necessary to do the job. Then there is the due process of drawing and aiming my firearm at the target, which in my case is always what in our profession is known as centre body mass. Then comes the due process of squeezing the trigger, followed by the due process of checking on the target to ascertain that the target has been adequately encountered, and if not, to complete due process by finishing the job with a coup de grace. How much more due process do you want? No process can get duer than that.

JJ: But isn’t that like taking the law into your own hand?

ES: Of course it is. I’m a law enforcement officer, am I not? And if I don’t take the law into my own hand, into whose hand am I meant to take it?

JJ: But what about justice being served?

ES: Everyone knows that justice is blind. Poor thing needs a helping hand now and then, and I’m happy to oblige. In fact I’d be even happier if I could oblige even more.

JJ: What do you mean?

ES: What I mean is that I ought to use a term used by investment advisers — diversify my portfolio.

JJ: Diversify your portfolio?

ES: Yup. Instead of having encounters only with alleged rapists, and alleged murderers, and alleged terrorists, and alleged Naxals, as I’ve been doing so far, maybe I should enlarge my field of activities to include other anti-social elements as well, in order to better serve the interests of justice.

JJ: What other anti-social elements, apart from alleged rapists, and alleged murderers, and alleged terrorists, and alleged Naxals, do you have in mind?

ES: Well, the country is full of anti-social elements, isn’t it?

JJ: You mean like mafia dons, and extortionists, and smugglers, and dacoits, and such like?

ES: Yeah, sure. All those usual suspects, of course, but lots of others as well.

JJ: Lots of others as well? Such as…

ES: Well, for starters, how about guys who pee in public. There are plenty of those around. And people who use cell phones while driving.

JJ: Golly, that would be a massacre!

ES: There’s a better term for it: Population control….