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This Diwali, renew the promise of compassion

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This Diwali, I have new wishes for the world. In my imagination, I live in a boundaryless world. I was going to write new wishes for the country but I realised that the country I live in includes people from other countries. It includes creatures other than human beings. When I think of everyone in my world, I imagine trees, clouds, lakes, birds and insects too.

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This Diwali, I have wishes for our universe. First of all, for our imaginations to overlap and our diverse worlds to become friendly with each other. For people of different ideologies and different WhatsApp groups to feel kindly towards each other.

Being compassionate is a long-term project. It does not imply getting on the same page as others. Or walking in their shoes. We don’t have to understand each other to be considerate towards the other. We have to make the decision to do so. We, who barely understand much about our own selves, need to give up the idea that we have the right or the position to judge others.

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It is a decision we have to renew each time we are flummoxed by the actions of others. What is rational for one makes no sense to the other. Our idea of high priority or etiquette may mean nothing to those whose context is different. We can be sure that we seem as illogical and difficult to comprehend to others as they may seem to us.

When we embrace change, it is always followed by a churn. It can seem hard and confusing. We may worry and begin to second guess ourselves. Wise leaders recognise that transitions are hard. They create space for uncertainty and chaos. It is the dark tunnel that eventually leads us towards the light. Stay committed to the purpose and give it time for the fog to clear.

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This Diwali, I want to remind us to be more interested in what else is happening in each other’s lives, other than the things that concern us. Teachers, ask students about what they are learning in other subjects. Doctors, ask about how others in the family are doing. Employers, ask your team about other things they are doing in their life. A genuine engagement with each other will automatically enrich our primary connection.

We need to create safe spaces where we allow each other to bring our whole self, rather than a minimised self. Modern life demands that we compartmentalise our interests, emotions, work and existence. We are desperate to integrate parts of our disparate self. Our whole is bigger than the sum of our parts. It is where our intuition resides. Where we can tap into inherited intergenerational wisdom. See the bigger picture of which we are an integral part.

True connections are the best efficiencies, even though they seem to be distracting us from our mindless focus on tangible goals. Our physical energy is connected to our psychic energy. We need to replenish both.

When was the last time you listened to your favourite songs? Do you even remember your list of best-loved songs over the decades? This Diwali, let music return to our lives. Uninterrupted by radio jockeys and advertisements, invest in the songs that make our hearts stir with emotion and inspiration.

Learn an instrument. Memorise lyrics of a song that moves you. Hum a tune. Organise get-togethers in which we sing again. Like we used to before social media and the stream of mindless content on our smartphones and television screens began to dictate conversation and overwhelm our moods.

Every time you scroll through your social media feed, watch more cat, dog, bird and nature videos than those involving celebrities and fake laughter tracks. Put the phone on silent and forget about it for a while. I want us to know what it means to truly relax. To do things that are so calming that they send us off to a deep sleep. The kind in which older people begin to snore.

This Diwali, I want us to renew our pledge towards our own well-being as well. Instead of increasing the pace of our life and leisure as we emerge from the haze of the pandemic years, I recommend slowing down. Plan long holidays, rather than short, quick getaways. Imagine time off when we do nothing more than eat, stroll, rest and sleep, rather than hectic adventures that tax our executive functioning skills and leave us exhausted. We are recovering from shock and prolonged anxiety. Rest and relaxation are the best adventures of our time. A worthy destination for healing and rejuvenation.

Make space for the magic of quietness and being solitary. No other connection feels adequate when we are disconnected with our own inner self. This Diwali, identify what feels like home. It doesn’t have to be a place. It can be a state of mind, a certain kind of time. It’s where we feel we are safe for a while. No need for performance. Just a place of solace.

— The writer is a filmmaker & author natasha.badhwar@gmail.com

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