Ways of Mass Dialogue, the WMDs we need

Everyone must be themselves — the mantra of the liberal, social and economic ideology — does not provide a narrative for bringing people together. Rather, it requires people to look after themselves — to ‘bowl alone’, in Robert Putnam’s description of the individualistic pathology of the US society. Humans are social animals. The fragmentation of human society caused by this ideology, which is attenuated by digitised technologies and social media, has resulted in pathologies at the individual level, with an increase in feelings of isolation exacerbated by the ubiquity of technological connections; and at the societal level, with sharper divisions between people ‘like and unlike’ us.

Vivek Murthy, US surgeon-general, has analysed the impact of the “everyone-must-be-themselves” ideology on the health of individuals, in his book Together. He explains the high costs and poor outcomes of the modern, technological (and privatised) approach to healthcare in the US, which has focused on the biology of the human body. He calls for a paradigm shift in healthcare to address the social and emotional determinants of health and well-being, with more ‘community’ and less medicine; and more ‘public’ solutions to healthcare provision.

The widening gaps in human needs for socially bonding narratives, caused by the liberal ideology of individualistic rights and individual agency, are being filled by surges of ‘populist’ narratives of national and racial identities that are building in the 21st century. The most recent alarming one is playing out in a violent war in Ukraine.

The liberal ideology, that has pervaded societal and economic spheres, has drifted too far from the realities of human lives. Liberals must take responsibility for the impacts of their ideology on the social and political pathologies that they lament.

Bits and bytes of digital technologies strip out human emotions to increase their efficiencies. Let’s switch off our smartphones and suspend our social media timelines for a while, and listen more deeply to our own hearts. And let’s also listen deeply to ‘people not like us’ who we see as threats to our ways of life. Only then can we, together, shape a better world for everyone.

The world was brought to the edge by the Second World War emanating within Europe in the last century. Nuclear weapons demonstrated their powers of annihilation. The principal purpose for establishing new structures for global governance, such as the UN Security Council, was to prevent the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction (WMDs).

Jonathan Schell predicted, in his book The Unconquerable World, that no nation would use these weapons because they could damage their users as much as their enemies. However, humans have continued to harm each other in other ways, and they are destroying their collective commons too. And, another war, once again in Europe, has brought the world to the nuclear edge again.

The world needs another type of WMDs which it must proliferate for humanity’s survival. These WMDs must be the ‘Ways of Mass Dialogue’ founded on the discipline of ‘listening to people not like us’. I have written about the why and the how of the good WMD in my books, Discordant Democrats: Five Steps to Consensus and Listening for Well-Being: Conversations with People Not Like Us.

These WMDs must be applied in three ways:

l For the powerful to listen to less powerful people. Rich to poor. White to coloured. Constitutional authorities to common citizens. West (and North) to East (and South). Experts to ‘common’ people. We need more equity in these dialogues to make the world genuinely democratic, instead of the charades of pro forma electoral democracy in which powerful people call the shots.

l For people to listen to each other, and especially to ‘people not like us’. Sadly, children are taught in schools only how to speak and write more clearly, to win debates and convince others about the rightness of their own opinions. They are not taught how to listen to and understand others’ views. Rewards are given to the best speakers and debaters, not to the best listeners. Thus, humanity has created a Tower of Babel which has become precariously overloaded with social media and is tipping humanity over the edge.

l For the presently powerless to listen deeply to powerful people (though this is difficult). This stream provides them two benefits.

The first is a moral benefit of self-development. ‘Turn the other cheek’; ‘Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself’; have compassion for all life. Though this is hard to do, and seems unjust too.

The second benefit is a practical one. Understanding one’s opposition provides strategic advantages. In fact, the way less powerful people have been able to win wars — of the non-violent ideological kind as well as the violent kind — is with superior intelligence than their more powerful opponents (whose power lies in more resources of wealth, technology and positional authority). This practical insight is what Mahatma Gandhi added to the ‘Jesus/Buddha’ way to lead movements of change.

Deep listening is the core process to leaven into processes of dialogue designed for specific purposes, such as policy-making and catalyst for change. Deep listening is not high-tech. It is simple and profound.

In my courses on systems thinking and deep listening, for policy-makers and leaders of social enterprises, I tell participants that they can improve their capabilities of deep listening to people not like themselves immediately. They should set themselves a weekly goal of reaching out to one or two persons at least who are ‘not like them’, and to listen to them. When the participants convene again, they always report how much that exercise has benefited them in practical and transformational ways.

“Be the change you want to see in the world” was a Gandhian lesson too.