Khaps vs the rest on increasing legal age of marriage

Geetanjali Gayatri

THE self-proclaimed gatekeepers of “honour”, who believe in “instant justice” in matters of love, marriage and all kinds of disputes, the khaps of Haryana are again raising a banner of revolt. Often in the news for their regressive attitude to modern problems, the all-male bastions are out holding panchayats across Haryana against a proposed law that seeks to raise the legal age of marriage for women from 18 to 21, which they believe is detrimental to their interests. The Prohibition of Child Marriage (Amendment) Bill, 2021, will apply to all communities and, once enacted, will supersede the existing marriage and personal laws.

The president of Dhankar khap, OP Dhankar, insists on narrating the story of his own family. “My wife was only a JBT diploma holder when we got married. I am 75 now. I encouraged her to study and get a job. She retired as the headmistress of a school. Both my daughters got married between the ages of 18 and 20 years. They are now PhDs and are teaching. My daughters-in-law are also getting higher education. This defeats the government’s argument that girls can’t study after marriage. In Haryana, I think it is to the contrary because most girls can continue with their studies after they get married and most parents cannot afford higher education,” he contends.

A Sarv Khap Mahapanchayat in Jind decided to whip up support against the Centre’s move to tinker with the legal age for marriage and smaller panchayats are being held across the state.

After a meeting in Jhajjar, Dhankar insists that resentment is brewing across caste lines. “All the communities are extending support to our cause. Boys and girls undergo hormonal changes in the 16-18 age group. They can’t help being attracted to the opposite sex. They fall in love, do something wrong and elope without a concern for the honour of the family. The parents then do whatever they can to restore the lost honour. This is not to say that it is the fault of the girls, the boys or the parents, but increasing the age of marriage would only mean more such cases,” he says. It would also mean stretching the parents’ luck and keeping them on tenterhooks all the time, he adds.

However, the Sarv Khap Panchayat itself is divided on the issue, with some members supporting the government decision. Phool Kumar Petwar, a khap leader who attended the Jind meeting, emphasises that there is no unanimity on the issue and a committee will look into its pros and cons. “These will be taken up at the January 2 meeting of the Sarv Khap Panchayat,” says Petwar, who is all for increasing the age of marriage. “This will allow girls to continue with their studies and be more mature before being married off,” says Har Narain of the Bura khap.

However, there are not many takers among the Jat community for this argument. The Nain khap is set to send a letter against the legislation to the Prime Minister and the Chief Minister. “We are underlining two things. We don’t want the marriage age increased to 21 because it means more trouble for the parents and puts them in situations where they take recourse to extreme steps. We also want the courts to take the consent of the parents when declaring a runaway couple as married, because it is the family which has to suffer humiliation,” says Ishwar Nain.

This isn’t for the first time that the khaps are debating the age of marriage. In 2012, the Sarv Khap Jat Panchayat, which had been at the forefront of demanding reservation for Jats in government jobs, took up for discussion the bizarre suggestion that marriageable age for girls be lowered to 15 to curb rising incidents of rape.

As among the Jats, the opinion is divided among other community leaders in the state. While Father Prakash Gill from Gurugram has welcomed the proposed law, a cleric from Nuh, Mufti Zahid, believes the right age of marriage should be left to the parents of the girl. “Our holy book says that the parents are the best judge for their children. Everybody knows when their child is ready for marriage and that can be at 18 or 28. The government should not step in to impose a new rule when we recognise an individual as an adult at 18,” he states.

However, Altaf Ahmed, a spokesperson of the Gurugram Muslim Council and associated with the Gurgaon Ekta Nagrik Manch, which runs a charitable hospital in Raebareli, explains why he considers this a good decision: “We have lots of women coming in with anaemia and other problems because they were married early and their bodies were not strong enough to handle pregnancies. It will be in the interest of women if the government goes ahead with its decision to raise the age.”

Mahavir Bhardwaj of the Sanyukt Hindu Sangharsh Samiti says the discussion should centre around “love jihad”. “Teenage girls are vulnerable; at 21, they will be comparatively more mature and youth from the minorities will not be able to lure them away.”

Women, too, are not on the same page on the proposed legislation.

Rights activist Jagmati Sangwan of the All India Democratic Women’s Association, who is known for her work against honour killings, insists that the government is wrong in fiddling with the marriageable age of women. “When girls and boys become adults at 18, they should also have the right to decide when they want to marry. In our colleges, only 1 per cent of the girls are unmarried. This is the way they have grown up and altering that and increasing the age to 21 would not be in anybody’s interest. In any case, marriage is a very personal matter and government interference is uncalled for,” she maintains.

Young women, however, feel differently. For them, the proposed change is a great leveller. “Increasing the age of marriage brings women on an equal footing with men and empowers us to be able to pursue our dreams. It also takes care of health-related concerns of young girls forced into marriage and, thus, motherhood,” says Bhawana (19), a BJMC student at Hindu College, Rohtak.

Rewari’s Nandini Yadav (19), a student of BA-I at Delhi University, feels the move will allow women to get a better understanding of the various issues they have to face in a marriage. “At 21, they will have a crystal clear vision towards patriarchy, dowry system and other social evils, and will be empowered to live a better life,” says Yadav.

The proposed law

• The Prohibition of Child Marriage (Amendment) Bill, 2021, which seeks to raise the legal age of marriage for women from 18 to 21, will apply to all communities in the country and, once enacted, will supersede existing marriage and personal laws.
• It aims at bringing parity in the legal age of marriage for men and women. As of now, the legal marriageble age for girls is 18 years, while it is 21 years for boys.
• It amends personal laws relating to the age of marriage.

The decision empowers women

Women should be empowered. I feel it is always good to marry off a girl when she is fully mature and knows herself better. She should know what she is about. It is good if the marriage happens at a later stage since it ensures better health for the girls. Kiran Chaudhry, Congress MLA

Centre has taken a commendable decision by initiating the process of increasing the age of marriage of girls. This would mean more opportunities to study, better health and greater independence. The khaps are protesting for the sake of protesting. The children of khap leaders get married after completing their studies. Others, too, deserve that chance. Kavita Jain, Former minister and BJP leader