In the shadow of myths

Monika Singh 

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It is easy to lie, it is difficult to change my routine,” this friend said. Her mother-in-law was in town and the friend got her periods. This meant she couldn’t cook. This also meant that someone else had to do it, probably the mother-in-law. But kids were running late. She told the maid to quietly light the diya in the pooja room — “I could not have done that myself” — and quickly set to make breakfast and pack lunch. This friend’s case isn’t an aberration. That’s true for most homes in upper Shimla. And why single out just this region, even after all the activism, things refuse to change across Himachal Pradesh. Menstruation is still a taboo here and manifests itself in various forms.

We may root for gender equality and women empowerment, but the truth is somewhat implausible. In the name of tradition, women are told to follow the rules society has set for them.

From Kullu to Kangra, Chamba to Kinnaur and Shimla, menstruating women are considered impure. They are banned from cooking, strictly told not to touch pickles and, worst of all, forbidden entry into the house.

A few years ago, I was working with an NGO, Chinmaya Organisation for Rural Development. We were working on educating women regarding menstrual hygiene in Dharamshala. We would go to far-flung areas of Kangra only to find menstruating women confined to cow sheds.

Over the years, I have seen that in upper Himachal areas such as Theog, Chopal, Rohru, Kotgarh, Kothla, Rampur, Sirmaur and at Baijnath, Barat, Jogindernagar, Chamba and Hamirpur in lower Himachal, women follow the strict cultural mores established for them. They don’t touch pickles and jams, don’t enter temples or light diyas in pooja room. In upper Shimla especially, for four days, women cannot cook food or enter devta’s room.

Apologists have so often told me that maybe this practice began to help the women per se. As it is a taxing time with so many women facing excruciating pain, maybe their families wanted them to take a break from cooking, they say. And I ask them, “Why the segregation then?” “Why do you tether her to the four walls of a 4×4 room?” “Shouldn’t you then be providing her with a comfortable room instead, along with food and warmth?” Instead, a woman is pushed into the most uncomfortable situation in a painful period, which, unfortunately, visits her every month.

However, from young girls to women in their mid forties, stigma has long been taken for granted. During a research project I was undertaking, I spoke to students from an all-girl’s college in Shimla. Most of them acknowledged the stigmatisation and being uncomfortable about it. However, they could not do much about it — customs are to be followed.

The stigmatisation also means that menstrual hygiene, use of sanitary napkins and disposal thereafter are subjects that will take a long time to crop up in conversations in these regions. The government of India has approved a scheme to improve menstrual hygiene for 15 crore adolescent girls by distributing low-cost sanitary napkins in rural areas under National Rural Health Mission (NRHM). But a lot more needs to be achieved in this regard as proper disposal of sanitary napkins is still a concern, both as much in villages as in government schools. In homes where girls don’t have access to pads, they use clothes which are to be dried away from the public eye.

I remember bumping into my friend Meenu (surname withheld) from Chopal in Shimla town one day. She said she was going to her aunt’s house to cook for her family as she was menstruating. Years on, not sure how things have changed in her family, but girls who are leaving homes to study are coming back with questions hitherto not asked, resulting in conflicts. They want to know the rationale behind the myths perpetuated over generations. I know of a family where the son and daughter-in-law are staying separately because the couple does not want to follow dogmatic beliefs. Change is coming, but at a very slow pace.

From personal hygiene to cleaning mindsets, it is going to take a lot of effort. Schools need to take the lead. I truly believe that that cultural and social practices in menstruation-related issues depend on the education of girls and their understanding of their own bodies. Health education in schools can play a major rule in this. However, not a one-off lecture but regular interventions are needed.

Also, the fear that the violation of this practice would invite the wrath of local deities on the family needs to be addressed. It’s largely this deep-seated fear that’s perpetuating the practice even in well-educated families. Ironically, most of the deities in whose fear this custom continues are female!