Shaukat aapa, as I know her
I had just landed back from Goa when I got a call from a journalist asking me my memories of Shaukat Azmi. I was taken aback. Shaukat aapa, as we all fondly called her, hadn’t been keeping well but this news was heartbreaking. Some people, you feel, should live forever. Some, who are so full of life!
I have been extremely fond of Shabana ji and I happened to meet Shaukat aapa a few times during their Holi and Diwali get-togethers at Janki Kutir. The house always felt so welcoming, reflecting the warmth of the gracious hosts. I always stole a chance to say an aadab to Shaukat aapa. She always held my hand, with a broad smile and a warm heart but I clearly knew she didn’t know who I was.
One fine day, I was shooting in a remote area of Rajasthan and was a bit low as I could not attend the premiere of Dilli 6 because of the bad connectivity in the area I was shooting in. I had packed up and was about to leave when my phone rang. It was Shabanaji. She sounded so happy. She had just gotten out of the screening of Dilli 6 and had called immediately to tell me how much she loved my work. Before I could absorb it and thank her, she said, “Someone wants to talk to you.” On the other side, the voice was full of warmth. It was Shauqat aapa. She sounded so happy, “Bhayee, Shabana agar na batati ki tum actor ho, to main samajhti ki sach mein Dilli 6 se kisi ko le kar aaye! Jeeti raho.” My eyes welled up. What could have been a bigger compliment from someone who’s herself a legendary actor? I had so loved her in Garm Hawa and Umrao Jaan! As the two lovely ladies hung up, I was literally jumping and dancing, absolutely forgetting that I had been upset for not making it for the premiere. Whenever I met Shauqat aapa, two things were un-missable, the naughty glint in her eyes and the zest for life.
The last time I met her was when she wasn’t well and had come out to meet everyone for a while at a get-together at Shabanaji’s house. That’s my one and only picture with my favourite mother-daughter duo.
I could so relate to their relationship. Mine with my mother was exactly like that—hand-in-hand, singing to each other, laughing, that bond was so, so precious. I could see the same with them.
And, I could see the loss, when I went to pay my last tribute to Shauqat aapa, I saw Shabanaji kept a calm composure, taking care of everything. But I could see her eyes, absorbing all the pain with an amazing strength. When I went to hug her, she picked up a flower from the table and pinned it to my pony tail very affectionately. She had a faint smile while doing it and I could clearly feel she was remembering her own mother doing that to her. I left with mixed feelings…end of an era …Shauqat aapa. And how Shabanaji was carrying on the baton with amazing grace. I had a lump in my throat.
A precious mother-daughter bond. I could hear the laughter and the singing of these two lovely ladies and somewhere within I could hear me and ma singing and laughing too. Where those sounds merged with each other, I didn’t get to know.
(Dutta is a Bollywood actress)
