Fountain runs dry

What do you get when you mix Hollywood A-listers, ancient mythology, exotic locations and a massive streaming budget? A film that looks like a blockbuster, but feels oddly lifeless. ‘Fountain of Youth’ sets off in search of wonder and meaning but ends up circling the familiar, offering recycled thrills and characters who never quite come alive. It’s a journey that promises magic, but rarely delivers more than a well-decorated detour.

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The plot follows Luke Purdue (John Krasinski), a charming art thief, and his sister Charlotte (Natalie Portman), a serious museum curator. They haven’t spoken in years but are forced to team up when they discover clues that could lead to the ‘Fountain of Youth’. Funded by a dying billionaire (played by Domhnall Gleeson), they race around the world — Thailand, London and Egypt — solving puzzles, decoding hidden messages in paintings and dodging enemies along the way. Sounds fun. Well, sort of.

There are definitely cool moments. A heist in a fancy museum, a chase through Bangkok’s market and a dive to find the sunken Lusitania bring some excitement. The final scenes, deep under the Great Pyramid, look impressive. The idea that the fountain gives you eternal youth but at a terrible cost adds an interesting twist. Visually, the movie is beautiful, with colourful costumes, grand locations and sweeping shots of ancient cities.

But the movie doesn’t come together as well as it should. For one, the characters feel thin and underwritten. Luke is supposed to be a lovable rogue, but comes off as smug. Charlotte is smart and strong, but her role mostly involves rolling her eyes at Luke. Their brother-sister relationship is meant to be the centrepiece of the film, but it feels rushed and shallow. They argue, they team up and that’s about it. We never really get to know them.

Eiza Gonzalez adds some spark as Esme, a mysterious guardian of the fountain, but she isn’t given enough to do. Her scenes hint at something deeper, but the script quickly moves on. Gleeson’s billionaire is mostly there to explain the plot and other actors like Stanley Tucci and Arian Moayed are sadly wasted in small roles.

Another problem is the script. It explains too much and trusts the audience too little. Characters say things like “We all know the Lusitania was the biggest cruise liner”, even though we just saw that in a scene. The movie repeats ideas about “the journey versus the destination” so often it feels like a school lesson.

The dialogues are rarely funny or clever and the emotional moments feel forced.

Guy Ritchie’s usual energetic and stylish direction is missing in this film. Unlike his movies like ‘Snatch’ or ‘Sherlock Holmes’, everything feels safe and generic here. The action is fine, but not exciting. The puzzles are okay, but not smart.

It’s like the movie was made to be just good enough to keep playing, without asking for your full attention. That said, ‘Fountain of Youth’ is not a terrible movie. It’s easy to watch, and there are a few fun moments. But it’s also forgettable. It borrows from better films without adding anything new. It feels more like a product than a story, a checklist of action scenes, jokes and exotic locations meant to please everyone but surprise no one.

If you love adventure films and want something light, this might be okay for a lazy evening. But if you’re hoping for something exciting, meaningful or truly original, this fountain runs dry.