Biden, Trump go golfing with gusto
THE recent Biden-Trump presidential debate has blown into a baloney of golf bragging. When asked about his fitness levels, Trump, 78, boastfully claimed that he had just won two big golf championships and hit the ball longer than any Democrat. Turning towards Biden, he said: ‘This guy Joe can’t even hit 50 yards.’ But Biden, 81, countered: ‘I got my handicap, when I was Vice-President, down to a six… This man weighing 225-235 lbs (pounds) is incapable of moving around carrying his own bag and plays only if he has a cart… Think you can do it? Happy to have a driving contest.’
The off-course golf duel would have gone on but for a rap on the knuckles by moderator Dana Bash for behaving like children.
Golf is a much-cherished ritual for American presidents. Sixteen of the last 19 have been golfers, the exceptions being Jimmy Carter, Harry Truman and Herbert Hoover. Many of them were known to have customised golf balls with their signatures. According to a presidential golf tracker, Obama would play with Titleist golf balls, personalised with ‘POTUS’ on one side and ‘44’ on the other — the number denoted the fact that he was the 44th US President. Reportedly, he paid for the balls.
Some of them bent rules at will and chose celebrity partners, closing tricky deals on the way. Trump has often played with champion golfers like Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods. Obama has played with celebrity journalist and commentator Thomas Friedman, who defended his public criticism of too much golf.
Since the dust on the Biden-Trump golfing slugfest has not yet settled down, despite their popularity ratings plummeting into golf course bunkers, a bipartisan hush deal by Nancy Pelosi is being worked out.
A special match at a neutral venue is being planned. Considering the Modi-Trump and Modi-Biden bonhomie, with the rant of ‘Ab kee bar Trump Sarkar’ substituted currently by the ‘Yeh dosti hum nahi todenge’ jingle, what could be a better neutral place than India? According to a Capitol Hill leak, Chandigarh has been chosen for the match. A nearby golf course along the Ghaggar river — to make up for the Pebble Beach waterfront — is being spruced up for the landmark event.
Vice-President Kamala Harris is more than happy to be Biden’s cheerleader and her aunts and uncles from Chennai are expected to descend down in droves soon. Trump, too, is bringing his red brigade and the special QAnon devotees to gherao the course in case he loses.
The most likely scenario on match day: Trump, the first to tee off, lands the ball in the Ghaggar. The one swung by Biden hits a kikar tree that he mistakes for the flag pole through his dark Aviator glasses. Suddenly, dark clouds arrive and burst into a monsoon deluge. Play is called off till November 5 or till the lost balls are found — whichever is later.
