In this business, monkeys hold sway

Rahul Bedi

Advertisement

The one problem that the proposed imminent architectural transformation of vast portions in and around India Gate and Parliament House would have to endure, will be its infestation by the original inhabitants of the area: monkeys. Increasingly unafraid of humans, thousands of these red-faced rhesus macaques have, over decades, commandeered roads, public buildings, grand bungalows and parks in Lutyens’ Delhi where India’s power elite works and resides.

Descended from monkeys that populated the Raisina Hill forest to construct the Viceroy’s residence and adjoining buildings in the new colonial capital, the simians’ sway over the area remains uncontested. And, having survived the colonialists, successive Indian governments and judicial efforts to evict them, it can be uncontestably assumed that the monkeys will promptly seize the new impending structures. These will comprise 10 high-rise office blocks on either side of Rajpath and replacement residences for the PM and the Vice-President nearby, amongst other ancillary buildings.

Years of effort to rid Delhi’s exclusive 26 sq km zone of the power of monkeys have been futile. Anyone attempting to trap them is either beaten up or chased away, as Hindu religious sentiment associates monkeys with Lord Hanuman. Alternatively, shooting them is sacrilegious, leading to bizarre strategies to deal with the nuisance.

After the BJP was elected to office in 2014, many ministers and officials were unable to shift to their official residences due to the monkey threat. This led to the municipal authorities deploying dozens of ‘ape men’ in monkey suits to mimic long-tailed langurs, whom the pillaging macaques fear. These men leapt around creatively, making loud throaty sounds and intimidating gestures that temporarily succeed in scaring the simians away.

Monkeys also dominate the North and South Blocks. Powerful officials walk warily down cavernous passageways for fear of being set upon by monkeys, concealed in their dark sandstone niches and cornices.

Tough wire meshing stretches across the windows of the Army Chief’s office to safeguard the head of the world’s third largest military from monkeys.

Veteran journalists will recall the hilarious incident when monkeys made their presence felt with a bang during a news conference in 2002 by then US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld in the driveway behind South Block. As he was passionately explaining Washington’s execution of the Afghan campaign, two monkeys, unmindful of world affairs, began mating on the edge of a nearby parapet.

The corps of reporters collectively swung around to watch the spectacle and for a while Rumsfeld found himself addressing their backs. Unfazed, he continued his address, pretending that the monkey business overhead was simply not happening.