The pursuit of happiness

WE managed an appointment with the Dalai Lama during our visit to Dharamsala a few years ago. Generally wary of spiritual leaders, I wasn’t enthusiastic about this meeting. Moreover, my left arm was in plaster due to a fracture. Still, I accompanied my group members, who included two senior bureaucrats. When we were brought in front of the great man, he darted towards me, ignoring the two dignitaries. Holding my forearm affectionately, he spoke soothing words. I was overwhelmed by his compassion. He had a witty thing to say to everyone. When one of the bureaucrats remarked that he had met His Holiness five years ago, the Dalai Lama asked: ‘So, what do you think? Have I grown a bit younger?’

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We spent about half an hour with the remarkable sage. He shared a few words about his renowned doctrine of happiness. He believed that the purpose of life is to seek happiness and this can be achieved not by material success or acquisitions, but by training the mind. We should discipline our minds to avoid feelings that are detrimental to happiness — like anger, malice, despondency, fear and hatred — and focus on positive emotions.

The interaction with the spiritual leader was stimulating. Over the years, I chased this happiness through a plethora of motivational literature and TED talks. I followed several happiness and wellness gurus — from Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins and Arthur C Brooks to Robin Sharma, Deepak Chopra and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. While one of them says that happiness springs from gratitude, another contends that it lies in love, affection and meaningful relationships. The things we can do to increase happiness are obvious and require just a little effort — meditating, exercising, getting enough sleep and helping people. The secret of happiness is akin to the secret of weight loss; it’s no secret at all. Another perspective is that one is most happy when he is doing what he loves to do the most. However, all agree that happiness is a very individualistic thing. Everyone must discover the formula oneself. We don’t need to search for it outside our beings — it is a lost key that we shall find in our pockets.

A few days ago, I met a ‘happiness guru’ in the person of my semi-literate plumber. He was busy doing repair work in my bathroom and soulfully humming a Punjabi ditty when I asked him: ‘You seem to be a happy man — always humming! What’s the secret?’ He put his pipe wrench aside, sat down facing me squarely and said: ‘Sir, I have managed to fit a cistern in my mind. Whenever negative emotions — anger, gloom or jealousy — tend to gather inside me, I just close my eyes, take a deep breath and pull the lever of the cistern. All those undesirable feelings are flushed out in a moment. I open my eyes to a bright, sunny and happy world. Simple enough!’

Here was an unmistakable echo of the Dalai Lama’s words.