The world after a rape

Tanisha Singh

THERE are protests that don’t make an impact. Instagram stories that don’t seem to move people. Sometimes, there are candlelight marches. Rape survivors relive what happened to them through a new headline — it’s an everyday story.

Someone like me will cry on the train on her way home, reading about what happened to a girl. A young doctor with her entire life ahead of her, snatched away cruelly, just like that.

No one can fathom what she went through in her last minutes. The fear, rage, helplessness, the struggle. One lapse. Was it even a lapse, though? Wasn’t she at her workplace, going about her business, getting rest because she was doing a 36-hour shift?

If we are lucky, the men will only stare at us. If not, they will pass a vulgar remark or even attempt to ‘mistakenly’ brush past us. It’s truly lucky when they let us live after they have ravaged us.

The autopsy revealed that there was ‘genital torture, deep wound in victim’s private parts’. Her mouth was filled with blood. Her father saw her like that. His thoughts? Maybe the parents, for a brief moment, thought: if she had to be taken, at least it could’ve been peaceful.

Fortunately, we can all choose not to read about it.

The principal of the Kolkata medical college didn’t take too long before questioning what she was doing alone in a seminar hall. I feel sorry for his wife. I worry about the kind of children he is raising.

A man who has been arrested allegedly returned to the scene of the crime, washed his clothes, destroyed evidence and then went to sleep. He had a history of physically abusing his wives. Why was he roaming about freely?

When such incidents happen, the authorities prattle off dos and don’ts — don’t head out after dark, even if that means 5 pm in winter; don’t wear anything that could be remotely enticing, don’t attract attention, stay hidden. Just remain in the background.

Do they talk about keeping men indoors or hidden? A ridiculous idea. Yet, it’s all right for women. No one talks about teaching boys young, or the detrimental effects of a ‘harmless’ sexist joke.

We live in a country where lawmakers accused of sexual harassment are allowed free rein, where women are looked at so poorly that the reaction is to blame the victim.

Do the men understand this fear? How many men ask the women in their lives about the trauma they have faced? How many try to create a safe space? How many listen? It’s not all men, but what are the rest doing?

It’s business as usual in the world after a rape takes place. Unless you are the victim. Or her family. Or a girl.