With all due respect, lording it over

I was introduced to my first ‘Lord’ when I was growing up at Nainital and entered the delightful world of PG Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Lord Emsworth ‘whose IQ was some 30 points below that of an absent-minded jellyfish.’ I never met any Lord thereafter, except MS Sandhu, my NDA batchmate, who was called Lord Sandhu by one and all. Subsequently, while undergoing the commando training at Belgaum, I had to often invoke the Lord above to save me from extinction.

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But wait… how could I forget the engrossing court scenes of our Bollywood movies with agitated lawyers jumping to their feet shouting, ‘Objection M’Lord’, our Lordships banging their gavels on their tables twice (I wonder if they are taught that in law schools) saying ‘Order, order’, and the hero dramatically pointing at the villain in his closing argument and thundering ‘M’Lord, isko umar qaid milni chahiye.’ I just loved these. So I was mildly disappointed when some of our learned judges decided that the royal style of British Raj should be consigned to the dustbin and that they should no longer be addressed as Lords or Lordships.

I often wonder why even after almost 75 years of democracy, we continue to use such British forms of address. There are many other royal titles like His Excellency for the ambassador to a country you cannot locate on a map, our ordinary elected citizens who suddenly become hon’ble MPs, MLAs, and of course, the maharajas, maharanis and nawabs, still revered by the local population. To this day, household workers call their employers sahebs, memsahibs or madams!

Actually, it’s not too surprising that our Lordships have observed that ‘they be addressed in courts in a respectful and dignified manner, but not compulsorily as My Lord or Your Lordship.’ While our Lordships do preside every day over the fortunes of us lesser mortals, it wouldn’t be very complimentary if we talk of them as ‘lording it over us’. But certainly, ‘Lord only knows what’s going to happen to us’ or ‘Lord be thanked for small mercies’ may be quite appropriate while referring to our court cases!

The word ‘Lord’ has many derivatives, not all of them flattering. A few do refer to the Almighty, mostly in prayer, or to the world’s most hallowed cricket ground. One certainly would not like to be equated with the drug lords of Colombia and Mexico or the Tajik and Afghan warlords of the past and present. For that matter, even the words landlord and the lord and master are feudal in nature, though Lord of the Manor and Lord of the Rings do sound better.

In my own small world, I too have had my share of being elevated beyond my military rank. In the years gone by, often over dinner, when I wanted to share some pearls of wisdom with my two teenaged boys, my wife would silence them by saying, ‘Quiet, pay attention. The Pope is pontificating!’

Good Lord, et tu, my dear beloved wife!