Life is what you make of it

Simmi Waraich

I do not like to be shouted at, however after marriage I had to face just that. I also like to do things myself and not be forced. But I feel there is enormous pressure on women to adapt. For years I faced that, now, it is impacting my mental health. I feel weepy, sad and I am trying but often I am unable to deal with it. — Koyal Sidhu, Mohali

Even though there may be pressure at times to adapt and unfairly so, remember life is never always fair. It is what you make of it. When Karna told Krishna in Mahabharata life was unfair, Krishna made him see how Krishna was taken from his mother, placed with a cowherd/farmer, etc and reminded him to see what he received and not what he didn’t. Though it can be difficult, do see that remaining calm, with the help of friends,  exercise (dancing, walking, aerobics, etc) can make us more resilient so we do not get too affected by in-laws or relatives’ comments. In fact you may find yourself asking- ‘Is it that important?’ and be able to let certain things go. So, work on that and make your thoughts more resilient— Example: Change the self talk to- ‘It’s irritating but it won’t kill me. I can get through this.’ 

Many cope by talking to a friend or visiting a Gurdwara and meditating or regular exercise. Identify yours. Also brainstorm solutions with the help of family or a counsellor.

I had a depressive episode 15 years back and was completely alright after that. Now, however, I am not being able to get out of it despite medicine.  — Swaran Gill, Chandigarh

Sometimes medicines take longer or higher doses maybe required or the medicine has to be changed to some other salt if it is not working. See what is needed after discussing with your doctor. It’s like, many people may be alright with one medicine for hypertension for years but later need to change to some other salt or increase the dose. Depression is a biological disease with chemical and structural changes. Medicines reverse those changes.

(Waraich is a Chandigarh-based psychiatrist)