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Renee Singh

We are all creatures of our own kind, unique to each experience. We react to situations according to our individual perception. We can actually say that we each one of us respond to stress in our own unique fashion. Although most of the responses seem to have universality about them as basic human nature remains the same, yet, I feel that our personal identity hugely impacts our stress response in a given particular situation. 

Stress triggers 

It is extremely essential that we are able to identify our stress triggers. They are of a varied nature:

• Physical attack
• Emotional abuse 
• Feeling unwanted 
• Feeling unloved 
• Overly sensitive nature 
• Job-related stress
• Relationship issues
• Environmental stress 

Individual temperament

Some of us are simply born more reactive to stress. The differences in temperament are visible right from the childhood.  We can observe very commonly that children born in the same family respond differently to the same situation.  

Thought patterns

Most of the incidents which have left an impact on our life continue to affect throughout. We as individuals have a habit of slipping into a comfort zone with these thought patterns and keep playing the same scenario over and over again in our minds. We need to discard these thought patterns consciously in order to be in the healthy, stress-free zone.

Limited thinking

We are constantly in the process of an inner dialogue, and most of the time we are sending ourselves negative messages. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as we attract situations according to our thought process. Negative messages will only attract negative situations. 

Self limitation

Our subconscious mind is constantly sending messages to us which furthermore create our reality. We could be saying words like ‘This is hard to do’, ‘This cannot be handled’ or ‘This is not possible’. These negative subliminal messages are eroding our confidence at some level and allowing stress to start finding a place. 

Fear syndrome

It is very easy to turn negative, as on a larger canvas a human being is ruled by fear. Fearful thoughts negate our commitment to ourselves, as we start doubting our own capabilities. We in turn erode our sense of self worth with these negative messages to ourselves. 

Self sabotage

Most of the time our negative thinking colours our every action. We respond to our environment and our lives with the colour and tempo of our thoughts. Research has shown that the ratio of possibility for a relationship to be healthy is five to one, negative to positive. 

We need to be careful about choosing our thoughts. Self talk can be harmful, but helpful too. It depends on us, how we can turn it to a helpful direction.

Perception of stress

Due to all the above mentioned triggers,  our perception of stress, moves accordingly. Since the human mind is continuously influenced by our thoughts. We need to see to it that our thought patterns remain positive. Our own thinking ultimately is the culprit of our whole scenario. 

Colour of language

It has been observed that the type of words we use,  alter the expectations and perceptions of reality.  

For example: 

• If a friend tells you that someone is not nice, you tend to believe it. 
• The doctor tells you that a procedure will hurt, you will believe it, and it starts hurting. Your belief in the doctors words makes it happen. 
• Research also tells us that people using different languages, see and perceive the same thing differently. Perception which gets altered towards the negative, definitely does affect our stress levels. 

Self mastery

Once we have deciphered a broad spectrum of the key factors affecting our stress levels, we know how to conquer them. No matter what our individual differences may be, by and large,  our response to stress, is governed by our controlling our minds and our inherent thought. 

Catch your inner critic

Learn to notice when you are getting self critical. Nip it in the bud. Thoughts are not always a reality. You are responsible for creating them and their further reality. 

Shift your perspective

Think with a calm mind. Looking at the same situation, in terms of short term benefits is different. Think long term. Allow life a chance to sort itself through the power of positivity. 

Shift your mind set, and relax, enjoy your new perspective.

(Singh is a Chandigarh-based psychotherapist)