‘Accept your children as they are’

Tribune News Service

Amritsar, July 26

Busting the myth of a ‘perfect parent’ and a ‘perfect child’, Dr Shelja and Dr Amit Sen, renowned child psychologists, conducted a workshop that talked about acceptance of children just as they are. So if your child is naughty, pushing your buttons, rebellious and throws tantrums at you at the drop of a hat, its alright.

“Every child is wired to do all these things. They are just doing what they are supposed to do, only as a parent, you need to look beyond their behaviors and understand them,” said Dr Shelja. Her book, The Art of Mindful Parenting, serves a short term course on changing core philosophies of parenting. She also appeared on television show TED Talk with Shahrukh Khan, discussing the ways to communicate with your child.

“Our cultural and community environment has changed drastically. So, we have to look at the changed rules of parenting accordingly. Parenting has become a mission these days, so we love working with families as we get to learn a lot from them, children especially,” she said. Her husband Dr Amit Sen, who too is a child psychologist who introduced the concept of children first in approaching parenting, stressed that empathy is the core word when it comes to mindful parenting. “Mindful parenting is more about working one yourself rather than the children. There are moments when a parent needs to pause and take a step back and not feel guilty about it,” he said.

The workshop was organised by FICCI FLO’s Amritsar chapter. Arushi Verma, senior vice chairperson, FICCI FLO, Amritsar, said the workshop aimed at helping and mentoring mothers to understand the changing dynamics of the relationship between child and parents.

According to the duo, the five C’s that act as universal rule for mindful parenting are – Connect, Coach, Community, Care and Commit. “Connect with your child at their level, understand their needs and give them time to learn things at their own pace. Most parents complain that gadgets have replaced family for today’s kids, but as a parent you need to put boundaries without expecting to control your child’s life,” said Dr Shelja.

Another golden rule that she laid down for mothers was “Every child needs a happy mother. So take care of yourself as well.”