Casual does not mean careless

Abha Chaudhary

A phone call, from a dear friend asking me out for dinner, dragged me out of my lazy evening. 

Standing in front of the closet, thinking of what to wear, reminded me of her friendly advice, ‘Don’t worry, it’s just a casual get together. So come in your casuals.’ 

Casual—what does that mean? 

Casuals...ah that’s a confusing term! The dictionary defines casual as relaxed, friendly and also unconcerned. Casual does allow one to ease out a little on the formality of attire, conversation and demeanour, but it never means to be unconcerned or careless towards oneself or others. 

In the European tradition, casual is the dress code that emphasizes comfort and personal expression over presentation, formality and conformity. This type of dress may be referred to as leisurewear. More simply, ‘casual’ can be defined as something relaxed, occasional, not planned, or informal. Casual attire does not mean shabby clothes. It relates to clothes that are not too prim and proper, but at the same time tastefully and aesthetically put together in an ensemble. Casual attire does not give you the licence to being rude, callous and hurtful in order to appear ‘cool’, an attitude so ‘en vogue’. So while you do choose to wear attire that is comfortable and relaxed, you are still careful about the way you make others feel —remember that’s the essence of good etiquette. Because if you are careful about others–what they feel and think about you... you would be mindful of your dress, grooming and behaviour—both in words and actions. 

Every outfit has a story to tell 

When we meet a person for the first time, we judge him or her on the basis of his or her overall appearance, whether he projects friendliness or shows signs of being a threat. A person who dresses properly not only looks better but his or her confidence grows and he or she communicates better, appears more credible, projects efficiency and creativity, demonstrates loyalty towards society and positively influences the level of politeness and courtesy around him or her. If you want to move ahead and succeed in a dynamic world, you must properly consider what you want your presence to say about you because whether we like it or not, it will tell a story. 

How careful one is about one’s self presentation conveys to the other his sense of etiquette – a sense of respect for the presence of others. Even a formally dressed man, if unconcerned about a stain on a necktie, can ruin all good impression. Clothes influence behaviour and transmit a message of confidence and a sense of calm, strength and capability. Efficiency and thoroughness at work are as relatively important as your exterior appearance at the workplace. 

A person who is not reasonably dressed and groomed sends out a message of low self esteem and scorn for himself and the surroundings. By contrast people who are respectfully dressed and are careful of their demeanour send out a message of self and mutual respect for others and their surroundings- as if their meticulous clothes say, ‘We are authentic we are talented and we respect our self and others’.  So do remember an invitation to a casual dinner does not mean an invitation to a casual attitude. 

(Chaudhary is a Chandigarh-based image consultant and etiquette expert)