Talk out the anger

Mona

Increasingly, the world is becoming very unsafe. As parents, one is no more comfortable leaving one’s child at the school gate. Sadly, on the other hand, teachers are becoming the target of adolescence aggression.

The recent incidents reported in a Gurgaon school - that of a class VII student threatening rape to his teacher and her daughter (who happens to be his classmate) and another offering candlelight dinner followed by sex to another teacher, point towards the alarming levels that the situation has escalated to. Unfortunately, these are no just two cases. Pradyuman case and its sad replication in Lucknow, a principal shot at in Yamunanagar… there are more examples of recent violent outbursts by the teens.

How to raise sane, responsible children is a question on the mind of parents and teachers alike…we find out. 

Discipline kids

I believe it’s the lack of discipline that is responsible for the current situation. Forget corporal punishment, teachers cannot be strict anymore. We still respect our teachers though they scolded us and also reprimanded us at times, but everyone knew it is for the child’s betterment. Parents busy in their competitive lives have left children at the mercy of television and mobile phones. Earlier, elders in the family and in school developed character through stern discipline. The model, adapted to current times, must be brought back. 

— Geeta Sharma, teacher

Listen, love & guide

The incidents like the one in the Gurgaon school are alarming.  Teachers and parents are too caught up in covering syllabus or meeting their own deadlines, and the child is lost in this mêlée. Apart from loads of information, all kinds of visuals, videos, games and porn is just a click away. Children emulate what they see. Sadly, many today try to compensate the lost time with material things, which cannot establish the value system. At home as a mother or at school as a principal, my first step is to listen. Violent aggression doesn’t develop in an instant. Give your children unconditional love and support; guide them, show trust. If still issues crop up, there is help; reach out to experts. 

— Sangeeta Sharma, special educator 

Deal with issues 

The main causes of this aggression are frustrations arising out of unmet needs, hormonal changes, genetic causes, rejection by peers and perceived inadequacies. Taking up steps like counting backwards 1-10, writing down anger triggers, trying to consciously control it, relaxation exercises and deep breathing can help prevent complete breakdown. 

— Dr Adarsh Kohli, professor, clinical psychology, PGIMER 

Build a positive environment

Cutting others and moving ahead is what adolescents are learning from the environment around them. As parents we are forever reacting. Couple it with current role models, who promote violence. To curb this, each one in the society needs to come forward. The recent move by the Punjab police asking singers not to promote liquor and violence in their songs is one step in the positive direction. Parents should not only take out time for children, but also take up physical exercise and meditation to calm themselves. Teachers must not label and berate the child publically, but discus any issues that arise in private. If the teacher finds it difficult to deal with certain issues, please refer the kid to a counsellor. 

— Dr Rupali Virk, psychologist 

Lead by example

I am mother to a teen boy and a small girl. The first priority is to give them all our attention. We are mindful of establishing a trustful, playful, comfortable atmosphere and keep the channel of communication open. While school system leaves little time at hand, we make sure to fit in family time and sports on an everyday basis. I try to be honest in my approach. 

— Usha, government employee 

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