You are welcome

Abha Chaudhary

Having to attend a row of celebrations with my near and dear ones made me understand that marking the important steps along life’s long and winding road is a meaningful and steadfast tradition. Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, religious holidays–every family has its milestones and its own ways of celebrating them.

These occasions celebrate both the event and the family, and it’s worth the effort to attend if you can. Remember consideration and respect for others are the hallmarks of courtesy and good manners.

Make a sincere effort

Be honest in apologising for a rushed attendance, but believe me that the effort you make to be a part of the happiness does leave a relationship stronger and warmer. People do understand you are in a dilemma. If someone has invited you to share their moments of happiness and joy, it is good etiquette to reciprocate with grace and respect. However, if you cannot make it due to long distances, a carefully selected gift can really compensate for your absence.

Dawn to dusk

Life is a span of incredible journey of happiness, starting at the very beginning with baby showers for the parents-to-be and ending with retirement parties It’s hard not to make a fuss over a new baby even before the bundle of joy is born, hence we have baby showers when we ‘shower blessings and gifts’. Good etiquette of celebration starts right from the time when a couple even plans to extend their family and the decision to have a child brings with it a set of questions concerning one’s relationships with family and friends. Who do you tell what and when? How do you respond to personal questions? The choice about who to tell and when is definitely influenced by your relationships.

Who to tell and how

Most people tell their immediate family first. Be intentional about sharing the news. You might not want the grandmother-to-be to hear the news from someone down the street or on your Facebook page, so once you have decided to share the good news with others, remember to share it first with family and very close friends. There is nothing more humiliating than to have not been included in an announcement. The key etiquette issue here is that it’s the would-be parents’ prerogative to decide when to tell. It’s not up to family and friends to continually ask about the couple’s baby–to–come status. The wait for the baby’s arrival is anxious and some couples don’t want the primary focus to continually be on the couple’s ‘baby to be’. Understand your family and close friends sure want to share your joy and they will feel hurt if they didn’t hear it from you. Then take care not to overdo it, by talking about your pregnancy and nothing else.

Too much is too much

While your family and friends are happy for you, keep in mind that there are other things going on in the world besides your pregnancy. Be discreet about sharing pictures of yourself or your ultrasounds. If you don’t want to answer inappropriate or personal questions, you are under no obligation to answer them but you can always say something witty or politely laugh it away.

(Chaudhary is a Chandigarh-based image and style consultant)