Being a Jatt, I couldn’t talk about my mental troubles: Monty

New Delhi, December 14

Former England spinner Monty Panesar is back and raring to go after battling depression for a “long long time”. The 37-year-old has set a plethora of short-term and long-term goals, which includes playing county cricket again, becoming the Mayor of London in a “few years”, and if that can’t happen, he would like to follow Katrina Kaif’s footsteps to make it in big in Bollywood.

Once a darling of the English fans, Panesar had a dramatic fall from grace shortly after a memorable tour of India in 2012, when he and Graeme Swann teamed up to engineer a rare series win. Then it all started going downhill for the wily spinner, who ended up playing his last international match in December 2013.

Looking back, it can be said that one incident that year, when he “urinated” on Brighton nightclub bouncers, contributed significantly to his rapid slide. That was when he started doubting his abilities, started drinking too much. But since he was part of a “typical Punjabi household”, owning up to his mental health struggles was tough. “I lived in denial for the longest time,” Panesar said today at Ekamra Sports Literature Festival.

“I was in big denial because I feared people saying ‘how can a cricketer like me be in depression’. On top of that I was Punjabi, a Jatt. I thought everyone would be like ‘C’mon, nothing is wrong with you and you will be fine’,” Panesar said. “But later, I realised I was so wrong. I would have recovered much faster if I shared my mental health issues with my friends and family. They are ones who pick you up faster than anyone else.”

Panesar can’t thank his family and friends enough for being there for him on his road to recovery. He is at peace with himself now, has quit alcohol and finds immense comfort in going to “Keertan”, which he says works as an “anti-depressant” for him. Panesar hailed Virat Kohli’s discipline with regard to fitness, even saying that he might take a leaf out of the Indian captain’s book while trying to make a comeback in First-Class cricket.

Hails Kohli

Panesar feels that with England’s bleak show in the spin department, there is always the potential for an unlikely comeback if he takes his fitness seriously. Panesar said that the Northamptonshire County Cricket Club, for whom he used to play in the County circuit, have invited him to train with them after the new year. “Spinners are not that good in England, maybe there is a gap and if I work on my fitness, maybe take a leaf out of Virat Kohli’s book, people may start taking me seriously,” he said. — PTI

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