Tanked by petrol!

Aradhika Sharma

“Hey Sabrina, I saw you rushing into the office pretty late today. Everything OK at home?” I asked at lunchtime.

“Oh yes! I got delayed because some people had come to look at our BMW. We’re selling the Beamer, you know,” replied Sabrina, sprinkling lemon on her cucumber.

“Why? I thought you loved that car,” Shobha exclaimed.

“I can’t drive it on an empty tank, can I? So, adieu to the Beamer! I’m going to put the money I get from the sale in a fixed deposit and use the interest to buy petrol for my Maruti.”

“Aha! So that explains why the monk sold his Ferrari! He couldn’t afford the fuel!” Shobha quipped. “Really yaar, petrol prices are rising with the speed of a meteor but with few chances of falling like one!” Mandy said morosely.

“There’s one thing that’s plunging!” Sabrina observed.

“Sunny Leone’s neckline?” I asked.

“Very funny! I'm referring to the rupee,” Sabrina retorted.

“Apparently, Kindergarten teachers are giving a new spin to the Midas Touch story. They start with: ‘There was once a king who could turn water into petrol,’” Mandy said.

“I’ve even heard that instead of giving shagun ka lifafas on weddings, people are planning to give cans of petrol this year,” said Mandy.

“That’s a great idea for a Diwali gift as well! Let me see if I can manage to get a few half-a-litre cans,” I exclaimed.

“Splurging on gifts this year, hmm?” Shobha said, jabbing a potato with her fork. “Incidentally, my sister’s son and his girlfriend have split up.” “Sad, but what does that have do with the petrol prices?” I demanded.

“Well, because he could no longer afford to drive her around town on his mo-bike. She says she feels embarrassed when he uses a dropper to put fuel in his vehicle or buys sachets of petrol. She’s on the hunt for a millionaire who can afford to drive her in a vehicle.”

“Sensible girl! Wish I could do the same,” Sabrina said, and added:“Look at the positive side of it, girls. More expensive fuel would necessarily mean reduced traffic and pollution and increased fitness.”

“It would also mean that I start the day at 4 am in the morning! Shobha retorted. “First walk to the milk booth to get milk, then do my turn in the walk-pool to walk the children to school, then walk to the office (by which time, I’ll be ready for a nap), walk to meetings scheduled outside office and finally walk back home.”

“You could cycle, couldn’t you?” Sabrina argued.

“Sure! Cycle to the movies, to the market, to see friends, to meetings and conferences, to the beauty parlour… So easy to do in the hot, muggy Indian summer, nahin?” Shobha said sarcastically.

“What then? Start fuel-napping or become pick-petrols? I asked.

Mandy was pinged by a phone update just then. Looking up she said: “Breaking news! Petrol just got cheaper by Rs2.50!”

“Really? Wow! How come?” we said.

“Only one possible explanation,” she grinned. “Baba Ramdev must have announced a new, cheaper variant of fuel!

“‘Patanjali Petrol’ to the rescue!”