‘Sahib, biwi aur kam’

V.M. Wadhwa

P.L.K., my childhood friend,  and I joined the Punjab Secretariat in the early sixties — he  as a clerk and I as a stenographer.  In service he was considered to be a very competent person and was known for writing short, to the point  notes (“gagar mein sagar”).  By nature he was  witty and humorous. There was not an iota of doubt that he was a man of impeccable integrity. Superiors always depended on him,  because he was fully conversant with rules and regulations, including the latest instructions issued from time to time. He used to be posted in important branches, requiring arduous duties because of his aptitude. Many a time he had to tread a difficult path. Most of the time he remained posted in the Personnel Branch where persons of high calibre were normally posted.

After completing about 20 years' service, he became a Superintendent by virtue of his seniority. As it was a gazetted post, he had sufficient staff under him.  He had the power of attestation.  His burden further lessened because, normally, on most of the files he had  simply to  sign or write “for consideration”  “A- for approval” “I agree with above” etc. But the over-all onus of the branch was on him. So much so  even the instructions issued by the government to all heads of departments were issued under his signatures. All this importance went to his head and he underwent a lot of change in his attitude, and he started behaving with an air of superiority, with one and all.

There was also a sea change in his behaviour  with family members, especially his wife.  He started posing as if he was very busy in office,  and told his wife to convey, whatever she had to say, in writing so that he, at his convenience, would pass  suitable orders. This continued for some time. When his wife had enough of his eccentricities, she called me one day to give vent to her ire, and narrated to me the absurd behaviour of my childhood buddy. On my asking, she put before me the following latest noting, which irked and disturbed her immensely:
“Mrs: Both the kiddies  have shown an  inclination  to have a sumptuous lunch in a restaurant today.
Mr: Due to financial constraints, may be put off till next month when DA arrears are being released”.
After two weeks.
“Mrs:    It is long time when we last saw a movie.
Mr: As mentioned earlier,  due to financial inadequacy, not possible this month.
Mrs: We are to attend a family function in the last week, so I need a new saree.
Mr: The green saree, which you already have, suits on your complexion. You look like a queen in that saree.
An infuriated Mrs: Enough is enough, I need a break to visit my parents for some days.
Mr:  Apply for leave”.
His wife put up an application for 15 days' leave on which he wrote, “Leave is sanctioned subject to the condition that arrangements for a suitable and beautiful substitute may be made”.
On reading this, I burst out laughing.