We are devastated. Our children abandoned us: Deserted fathers

Ajay Joshi
Tribune News Service
Jalandhar, June 15

Lodged in the six by eight feet rooms of the old age homes in the twilight of their lives, “Fathers’ Day” holds no significance for these elderly men, who brought up their children with much hardships hoping for a secure future for themselves.

But even after being abandoned by their own sons and daughters, they prefer not to say much against them, as they believe it’s the ‘Karma’ that has forced them to stay at the old age homes.

Having served in government departments, a retired Colonel from the Indian Army, a retired education officer, a retired sub-divisional official, a retired block development officer and businessmen are among dozens fathers, who are spending their time at these homes despite being financially sound.

For well known Gulatiji (75) at the Red Cross Old Age Home, the Fathers’ Day is like any other day for him as it’s been around 10 years now since he left his family.

He said unable to have any meaningful conversation with his family comprising son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren had affected him a lot.

“Nothing more to say, but ‘damaged relations can’t be repaired’ and ever since I started living here, neither I visited my family nor they did,” he added.

Similarly, a 91-year-old retired BDO, his age reflecting from his sagging skin, said, “After attaining the old age we only want to live with peace, love and care with our children, however, negligence by our own blood makes us feel dejected and it gradually forces us to move out of our homes.”

“The life here has held a smooth pace hence I can’t even dare to feel and recreate that pain,” he mentioned.

Likewise, there were many other tales that have survived in the rooms of the old age home. Some belonging to distant places and cities, while others despite having well-constructed houses in the city itself are living in the old age homes. These fathers often long for one proper sight of their children.

The abandoned parents feel, a generation brought up by them facing all odds and hardships to give good education now believes that their lives are complicated if their parents continue to live with them.

Ved Prakash Sharma (76), a resident of Anand Nagar, living at Apahaj Old Age Home said, “After my wife expired, I didn’t receive much care and attention from my only son and once he got involved in making his own family, he asked me to move here to spend my time with other elderly people. Deeply affected by this, I took no time to move out of a well-settled house.”

Harman Das, who was left here after he his one leg was paralysed, said, “Parents and children have the purest relationship. It is duty of children to look after their parents when they are old and cannot care for themselves. However, when they abandon their parents in old age homes, it just leaves them devastated.”