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Posted at: Sep 16, 2019, 8:53 AM; last updated: Sep 16, 2019, 8:56 AM (IST)

Is dating stressing you out?

You are probably forgetting that it should be fun. Lower the expectations, don’t go by the social media frenzy and most importantly, hang out with someone with similar mindset

Manpriya Singh

It is a little…difficult to believe that love and dating, romance and relationships are unaffected by social media and the millennial way of life. Because they are not. Rather, they are dictated by it.  Whatever the millennial life has to throw our way— speed dating, dating apps and of course dating pressure.  Is it any surprise when a recent study says that teens not in a romantic relationship have stronger social skills and are less depressed than their peers? Published in The Journal of School Health, the survey-based research studied students in 10th grade and found those without a date had lower ratings of depression compared to peers who were dating.  

Before we start taking stock of the different levels of stress, Mumbai-based actor Guru Bhullar, last seen in Uri, laughs about the different stages of stress. “It’s about taking pressure. Those who do will always be stressed. I have seen my friends and for boys the biggest pressure starts with the first date. Where should I take her? Would the ambience be good?” Currently single himself, he laughs over some of the problems experienced by his friends. From find the right date to finding the right place for first date, the bottom line is—it’s stressful. Shamita Shetty, while shooting for a web series in Chandigarh a couple of years ago, had laughed about the pressures of being single. “Oh, yes, I’m single and in fact I’m so single that it is not even funny.”  On a serious note, she’d said, “Having been through relationships, by now you definitely know what you don’t want. But you can never put your finger on what exactly you want. But I do believe in love and in the concept of butterflies in the stomach.” City based model Rammya Singh, currently writing about love and relationships in her debut book, echoes the similar sentiment, but knows it’s a challenge to find the bookish ‘true and eternal love’ in today’s day and age. “A majority of the credit for depression, stress and pressure in relationships goes to social media. There is insane amount of peer pressure, right from an Instagram-worthy first date to the date itself, who should be ‘hot’,” shares the girl who otherwise relates to her generation, save for in matters of the heart. “I do not understand the speed with which they move things, right from securing a date to moving on. But of course, stress also depends on the kind of person you are, the one to take pressure or not.”  Veteran TV actor Deepshikha Nagpal, currently seen in Main Bhi Ardhangini, has been on both sides of the fence and understands perspectives deep enough to ensure that dating is not a stressing or a sneaky activity for her children. “Back when we were kids, dating meant maha paap for us. My father was extremely strict about it and he wouldn’t allow us to leave the house after 7 pm. I was studying in girls’ boarding school back then. Leave alone conversing with a boy, we would not even get a chance to meet them. But as a mother I didn’t support this restriction and never stopped my kids from dating anyone of their choice.” She adds, “I feel any pressures regarding such issues can be diminished only if parents and kids learn to converse at a normal level on these things and not make it sound like they have committed a mistake.” manpriya@tribunemail.com

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