‘For god’s sake I need my space’

Divya Dutta

As the boarding started, I comfortably took my seat in the first row. I started reading the newspaper sitting on my cushiony aisle seat, but the boarding had just begun and in came a huge bunch of passengers and their bags, backpacks and purses.

One by one as they got in looking for their seats, they would turn around, conveniently forgetting they had a heavy haversack on their back and there was a mere mortal sitting right behind them when they turned , banging their bags on my head in the bargain.

Then a woman entered, holding her little one’s hand and a purse on her shoulder, suddenly as she entered, her motherly instinct took over and she bent down to pick him up, forgetting in the process, that her sharp bag poked the mere mortal sitting behind.

This happened a few times before the boarding was finally complete. Why do people not have a sense of space? They forget they have heavy bags and when they move or turn around, those bags tend to bang into the poor ones standing close.

It’s happened with me way too many times and I finally lost patience. Once a person at the airport was busy cracking a joke with his girlfriend. I unfortunately happened to stand right next to them. In his efforts to be around her, he too forgot he had a laptop bag and he turned, banging that bag right on my nose. I had lost it and I tapped on his shoulder. He felt truly disturbed but seeing it was me he kind of held back his irritation. As I pointed out what he and his bag had just done, he looked behind to actually check if he had a bag and cracked up while apologising. I forgot, he said. Only if I could forget I was supposed to be civil.

People in public places not only forget who is around them, they also are only bothered about what they are supposed to do. It doesn’t matter if it affects the others around. Someone will come and shove their bag in an already full upper stacking areas on the flight. They will not bother to ask anyone if they can move their bags a bit. They just do their jugaad. Their bag has got its place! Bas! That’s all that matters. The other day I called a painter home to paint my newly made French windows. He painted it very well but left his marks behind. Literally! When I angrily pointed out he said, “Madam kaam badhiya kar diya. Thoda bahut to chalta hai.”

That thoda bahut is scary. People honestly think that the strangers around them can be taken for granted. We also use the warmth we Indians are associated with to manipulate some times. On an already full bench, I saw an over-familiar guy pushing everyone and plonking his teenaged daughter wherever she could fit in. No courtesy to ask, or request.

Another one was the most annoying. I took my little nephew to watch a show. Everyone in the audience in the open ground was seated. As the performance started, a tall man sitting in front decided to get up for a better view. No, he didn’t bother to look behind to see if his huge self was blocking other’s view. I politely tapped him and told him to sit. He looked so irritated for being asked to do what the others were doing. My little one tugged at my shirt, “Bui, I can’t see. This uncle is blocking the view.” Bas, I had it, I lifted my nephew, I went up to the man and my petite self in front of his tall frame did look funny but everyone was quiet as I scolded him...he didn’t get up after that. Neither did the others. Thank god for little mercies.

But when will we do it on our own? Why is it not about the others around us too? Why there’s no basic courtesy? Or, sensitivity! For god’s sake I need my space!

My manager called to ask, “So ma’m, will I book your favourite front row aisle seat?” No darling. All the people and their bags came to my mind and I no longer wanted to yell. “The window seat”.

(Dutta is a Bollywood actress)

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