Journey to a newer you

Renee Singh

Asking someone to change with the aim of managing stress, usually boils down to old and fixed habits creating problems. Each one of us feels restricted by the fact that we have a pattern of habits we are addicted to. But why does it happen, in the first place? It all sprouts out when the mind accepts these patterns and develops a comfort zone within them.

At times, we know that the path we are headed to, is a destructive one; we tend to follow it with the least amount of resistance. Changing our pattern of behaviour might seem stressful at first, but that does not justify the practice of continuing with our negative-patterned behaviour. Here are some tips to make your journey easy..

Stress of change

Modifying behaviour is stressful. We don’t feel like stepping away from our comfort zone. Here’s a list of some changes that you might be dying to make, but fail to. If it rings a bell, it is time to change..

1. Spendthrift nature seems like a deprivation.

2. Exercising seems like a huge chore and a discomforting situation.

3. Quitting smoking seems like living in denial of pleasure.

So, every time we plan to change some of these habits, we start stressing beforehand. Here’s what you can do..

Become realistic

Learn to evaluate your own stress levels and distinguish between real stress and imagined discomfort. Objective evaluation is the only way to live stress-free.

Evaluate if the feeling of discomfort is..

1. Mild

2. Moderate

3. Tolerable for a small gain

4. Unendurable

5. Or, agonising

By not allowing our discomfort to magnify and reach a level of agony, we can conquer destructive habits.

The child within

We form certain habits in our childhood which actually develop into our comfort zone. Sometimes, we are actually wanting for love but substitute that urge with some addiction like smoking or shopping. Mainly chocolates and food addictions are the best comfort zones in these cases. In all such situation, it’s actually the rebellious child needing appeasement within when it can’t handle the vacuum of a ‘no love’ situation.

Alter your habits

Facilitate your aim to change by making some conscious effort..

Make a commitment

In case you feel you need to lose weight. Dedicate yourself to the cause completely.

Form a strategy

Plan carefully and modify your behavioural sequence to have a sense of control.

Beginning

This is the most difficult part but you need to just get on with it. Once you decide to do it tolerate the mild discomfort and stick to the path.

Ambivalence

When you alter a pattern you can feel your mind resisting the new flow. Do not get discouraged. Continue on your path and allow the change to slowly take over from negative to positive.

Confidence

Allow your feelings to indulge in a “feel good factor”. Relax and stay on course and enjoy the feeling.

Consolidate

Once a new groove has been created by you the old habit is thrown away and replaced by a new one. The battle has shifted. Mild discomfort can always be handled.

Victory

There may be a few times one is tempted to slip into the old routine but the overall feeling is victorious when one manages to break a habit, throw away an old pattern and create a new one.

Releasing old patterns can be very stressful and the mind can sometimes create false alarms, do not notice them. We must understand that it is valuable to build useful habits as they can bring instant results of a “happy” feeling.

Positive addiction

It is very important to take charge of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Release all tension for positive self-directed growth. Ignore the mild discomfort. Work towards making yourself happy!

(Singh is a Chandigarh-based psychotherapist)