The missing classic

Ervell E. Menezes

When a film like Mortdecai with a fabulous cast comprising Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor is shrouded in such secrecy (the preview fixed one day before the release) there must be some "catch." And our worst fears were confirmed within 10 minutes of the start.

Based on a book by Kynt Bonfiglioli, the storyline is almost non-existent. There is something about a missing Goya painting so there will be art thieves and fakes and there will also be a merry mix-up with Lord Charlie Mortdecaii (Johnny Depp) being the central character who drops "love of my life," "apple of my eye" and other endearments to his pretty wife Johanne (Gwyneth Paltrow) who, however has her eye on Inspector Maitland (Ewan McGregor). To start with Eric Aronson's screenplay is studded with choice sentences and clichés that reek of being unnatural. The humour is base and below the belt. Innuendo is rare and vulgarity is the name of the game.

Credibility, of course, has long since been thrown out of the window and director David Koepp is like the proverbial blind man in a dark room…(you know the rest)

That the talented Johnny Depp is made to ham his way right through is indeed sad and Ms Paltrow is not much better. There is one shot in which the camera pans on his not-so-ample fanny. Paul Betanny, whose role in A Beautiful Mind still lingers in memory, is totally wasted and so is Ewan McGregor.