Adoption — No child’s play

Naina Mishra

Tribune News Service

Chandigarh, November 14

Parents shared after-adoption experiences during a child adoption awareness programme was held at the PGIMER here today. Adoptive parents usually face a myriad of challenges — from helping the child forget his/her traumatic tale of abandonment to suppressing the urge to return the adopted child.

Jenia, who has two biological sons, adopted a four-year-old girl from city’s Ashiana home (child care institution) to fulfil her desire of having a girl child. But what propelled her to do so was a heart wrenching sight of a newborn left abandoned with umbilical cord attached. It was in the moment that she decided to adopt a child.

“It has now been one year with Sara (name changed) and I feel it’s a divine match. It took us seven months to gain her trust. We had to keep assuring her that we will take her back home whenever we were on an outing. We dealt with behavioral issues, but never lost hope,” said Jenia while narrating her experience.

Jenia remembers: “On her first day at the school, I went to drop her but she did not say goodbye. Sara had assumed that she would never see me again. Adoption is never about the parent, it is always about the child.”

Seven-year-old Rekha (name changed) was five when she was adopted by a French-origin woman in 2017. Nethalie Pinot (50), adoptive single mother, shared: “I waited for nine years before I could adopt an Indian child. She is everyone’s favourite in our village. She is fluent in French and now we working on teaching her English.”

Behavioural issues

Many a time, parents feel the urge to return the child soon after adoption. In one of the cases shared by Dr Bhavneet Bharti, Professor Division of Social Paediatrics, PGIMER, a two-and-half-year old abandoned child rescued by the Child Welfare Committee was initially clingy and always crying. She would utter only two words “mummy” and “dadu”. She stopped talking to anyone and was often sad and angry. However, she followed instructions by house mothers at her child care institution.

Bharti said: “Usually, after the physical needs are taken care of, a child adopts to the environment. But even after three months, the child was sad and did not talk much. The child was legally up for adoption and a Raipur-based couple had adopted her. After two days with her, the couple returned her back citing behavioural issues. But a couple of hours later, they returned again to take her back with them,” said Bharti.

She added: “It took us eight months to understand what the child suffered in the past. Probably, she had witnessed a murder as she would enact death scene and talk about blood. She has now transformed completely with love and affection of her adoptive parents.”

About CARA

Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) is a nodal body by the Ministry of Women and Child Development which facilitates adoption of Indian children and is mandated to monitor and regulate in-country and inter-country adoptions. The agency deals with adoption of orphan, abandoned and surrendered children through its agencies.

52 adoptions from city: Social Welfare secy

The office of the State Adoption Resource Agency, in collaboration with the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA), and Department of Pediatrics, PGI, organised an ‘Awareness and Capacity Building Programme on Child Adoption and Trauma Informed Care’ at Bhargava and APC Auditorium at the PGI. BL Sharma, Secretary, Social Welfare, said 52 in-country and inter-country adoptions have been facilitated from the city.