Let them pass when it’s time…

Amrinder Bajaj

When my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer, I made two promises to myself. Firstly, I will make his life as comfortable as possible as long as he lived, and secondly, I will not prolong his suffering. I also made a subconscious decision to ease him into the valley of eternal peace if his agony became unbearable, for some terminally ill cancer patients writhe with intolerable pain. As a doctor, it would have been easy for me to do so, should the need arise, though it was illegal then.    

Valiantly he bore the extensive surgery and the innumerable rounds of chemotherapy. The removal of his bladder consigned him to a life in diapers but he remained undaunted. There followed a disease-free interval of but a year, after which the cancer returned with a vengeance as metastasis in the adrenals and liver. This time, though the chemotherapy drugs were stronger, the side effects devastating and the results negligible, so we decided to stop treatment and give him TLC (tender loving care) which was all that would help at this stage. Though reduced to a skeleton, the wan smile he gave, when asked if he was all right, never faded. A month later, he passed away at home, surrounded by his loved ones instead of an impersonal ICU amidst strangers. Thankfully, there was no pain. If there was, I would not have thought twice before putting him out of his misery, whatever the consequences. I shudder to think that I would have been jailed for doing then, what the law has sanctioned now. 

However late, the legalisation of passive euthanasia is a welcome step. A ‘living will’ made voluntarily by a person of sound mind, stating the circumstances in which he/she would prefer passive euthanasia and appointing a guardian authorised to carry it out, will minimise the chances of it being misused. If there are more than one living will, the last one will be considered. Last but not the least, it can be reversed if the patient changes his mind. Here is my living will:           

In case, I become a terminal case/Do not hook me on to a ventilator./ Keep it free for those who can survive/ Instead of letting the hopeless, linger on./ In case, I become a terminal case/ Please do not resuscitate/ Let my battle-weary, time-scarred body lay down arms, with quiet dignity./ In case, I become a terminal case/ Please, no life support for me./ Why keep alive a lifeless life/ When, it no longer wants to live./ In case, I become a terminal case/ With sunken eyes and wrinkled skin/ No amount of IV fluids can restore/ A shrivelled form to its former glory./ 

So, just put a flower in my hair/ And bid your final farewells,/ And let a life well lived rest,/ At last, in eternal peace.